Sparkles McGillicunty

nsfwhumor: [@sanditoncoffee] You could give everyone decaf

Thu, 23 May 2013 23:30:34 -0400

[@sanditoncoffee]

You could give everyone decaf

I hate customer service forever

Thu, 23 May 2013 15:28:58 -0400

When I explain our funds availability policy to new (or existing) customers, I speak as though I’m talking to another adult capable of listening and interpreting statements that translate/define or remove as much “bank speak” as possible.

But apparently I need to create a scripted explanation directed towards children to use because dang people do not listen.

joost5: behindthestripes: sarcasticdumpling: whoishannahh: de...

Thu, 23 May 2013 00:34:31 -0400

joost5:

behindthestripes:

sarcasticdumpling:

whoishannahh:

destielsrainbowdick:

nocturnalvisionary:

novakian:

This guy would survive a horror movie.

This guy would survive a horror movie.

Every single time this comes up on my dash it gets funnier. Like I just fell of of my bed from laughing so hard

He fucking hit him with a lamp.

I love his freedom pants.

one slipper. one.

official-nhl: It seemed as though the game would remain tied...

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:24:47 -0400

official-nhl:

It seemed as though the game would remain tied after a lucky bounce off of Lundqvist’s head on the line but then Paille put the puck in off the inside post.

On a crazy play the Bruins take a 3-0 Series lead!

Dirty money

Tue, 21 May 2013 19:04:40 -0400

If you have a wad of cash that smells like you used it to mop up spilled rotten orange prison wine brewed with Candida albicans inside a gym shoe… please deposit it at a bank I don’t work at, thanks.

The hilarious double standard "Mexicans are lazy, and too stupid/can't be bothered to learn English" and "Mexicans are taking all our jobs". So, you're saying that you lost your job to a lazy person who doesn't speak English, how bad at your job were you?

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:06:22 -0400

native-detroiter:

malanga-coco:

queennubian:

sourcedumal:

feverishlycool:

searchingforknowledge:

stargazingeyes:

OH SNAP!

HAHAH

YOOOOO

i say gaddamn! lol

oop

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 16:27:56 -0400

Alfred Kubin - Epidemic, 1900-01 ...

Sun, 19 May 2013 13:26:20 -0400

Alfred Kubin - Epidemic, 1900-01 Drawings

feministwerewolf: ferocodile: cultural genocide in North...

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:30:16 -0400

feministwerewolf:

ferocodile:

cultural genocide in North America

This, this right here, this is why “white people” cannot wear our things, cannot appropriate our customs or languages. Because y’all did this. y’all continue to do this too.

felicefawn: Best thing I have ever seen ever. Fucking marry me...

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:39:02 -0400

felicefawn:

Best thing I have ever seen ever. Fucking marry me you sexy beast.

joost5: sassytesseract: amavissem: ridge: lusteens: p0kemina...

Thu, 16 May 2013 11:53:58 -0400

joost5:

sassytesseract:

amavissem:

ridge:

lusteens:

p0kemina:

I’m having an asthma attack omg this is perfect

one of the few things on tumblr I genuinely find hilarious

trying to laugh silently when people are sleeping DID.NOT.WORK.

JUST WATCH IT. WHATEVER YOU DO YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT

but he’s actually a talented guy why is no one mentioning how gr9 he sounds rly

nothing but smiles

neil-gaiman: butcherbilly: The Post-Punk / New Wave Super...

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:17:42 -0400

neil-gaiman:

butcherbilly:

The Post-Punk / New Wave Super Friends by Butcher Billy

Who are your heroes?

Reblogged purely to make Amanda smile.

Thanks Obama

Wed, 15 May 2013 17:59:26 -0400

The next time a customer makes an awkward comment about Obama taking their money, I’m going to say “yeah, he came in last week and requested to withdraw money from your account and I let him because he’s the president.”

cognitivedissonance: zzazu: vieries: jacketlizard: battroid: ...

Tue, 14 May 2013 19:55:27 -0400

cognitivedissonance:

zzazu:

vieries:

jacketlizard:

battroid:

takeawaygirl:

thegreatdesutree:

Unfortunately, this is a real restaurant and that is a real response. Their page was not hacked and thus trolled (that I know of). The owners are just really crazy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6LY7TJ16pg

holy FUCK watch that video

i just watched that video (and the part 2). unbelievable

I’m like 7 minutes in and jesus christ

i had to stop at like 2 minutes in i can’t do it

I honestly did not know it was possible to be that fucking psychotic

Yeah, when even Gordon Ramsey quits you… you should quit. Like everything.

justbe-lie-ve: littlefuckinglesbian: Spit on them. all my...

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:07:52 -0400

justbe-lie-ve:

littlefuckinglesbian:

Spit on them.

all my followers best fucking reblog this goddamn shit.

The Comeback

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:03:25 -0400

The Comeback:

nhlbruins:

BOSTON, MA - It had never happened before in the NHL.

The Bruins are the first team in the league’s 96-year history to win a Game Seven after trailing by three goals in the third period.

“It was an unbelievable feeling,” said B’s forward Brad Marchand in the locker room, after the Bruins had rallied back from a three-goal deficit against the Toronto Maple Leafs at TD Garden on Monday night.

Toronto led 4-1 with 10 minutes left in the third period. Nathan Horton’s magic made it 4-2 at 9:18. Milan Lucic’s will brought it to 4-3 with 1:22 left. Patrice Bergeron, being Patrice Bergeron, forced the overtime with 51 seconds left in regulation.

Read the full feature by clicking here or on the link above.

graceebooks: men at large feel like they are being robbed of something when an attractive woman...

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:46:36 -0400

graceebooks:

men at large feel like they are being robbed of something when an attractive woman with a 90% chance of developing breast cancer gets a double mastectomy

what better illustration of the male sense of sexual entitlement do you need

norsegays: astrolope: People being angry about ~dem gays~ on...

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:42:49 -0400

norsegays:

astrolope:

People being angry about ~dem gays~ on Target’s Facebook.

I just want to give my two cents on this and tell you a story.

A couple weeks ago, I was hired at Target. I have a job at Target. Not a big deal right?

It is a big deal because i’m a transman.

It doesn’t take a genius to conclude that it’s hard for me, my brothers, and sisters to get a job. There are legal restraints regarding the job and if you don’t pass, it’s hard to be taken seriously at a job interview.

Right on the application, it asks what your preferred name is. It also asks if there is anything that target should know. I put the fact that I am a transman, expecting not to get a call because usually when you put that down, people will throw out the application. I got TWO interviews.

At the interview, they asked me about it. I told them I am on hormones and they told me that they didn’t care. Not in the sense that they don’t emotionally care, but that it didn’t matter. I was male and that’s all that mattered. They also told me that they give sex same couples benefits in states that do not recognize them as a married couple.

At my job orientation, I was not misgendered once. Even my supervisors who weren’t sure of my gender avoided pronoun use, which I found only happens when you’ve had pronoun training. They gave me a name tag with my preferred name and didn’t ask questions. I felt safe and respected, which is huge for a trans* person.

TLDR: Target is amazing not just for the LGB, but also the T. Shop there for the rest of your life.

call-of-cthulhu: injustsevendays: Thanks, Paris. Real helpful....

Tue, 14 May 2013 12:02:54 -0400

call-of-cthulhu:

injustsevendays:

Thanks, Paris. Real helpful. I have a useful piece of advice for you; stop being a vapid, useless bitch.

is that shirt for real. is she for real. what.

Well dang lady not everyone in the world can be born a useless waste of flesh to rich folk.

librarienne: Figuratively me right now. This guy

Mon, 13 May 2013 22:57:56 -0400

librarienne:

Figuratively me right now.

This guy