If you have a wad of cash that smells like you used it to mop up spilled rotten orange prison wine brewed with Candida albicans inside a gym shoe… please deposit it at a bank I don’t work at, thanks.
The hilarious double standard "Mexicans are lazy,...
native-detroiter: malanga-coco: queennubian: sourcedumal: feverishlycool: searchingforknowledge: stargazingeyes: OH SNAP! HAHAH YOOOOO i say gaddamn! lol oop
The next time a customer makes an awkward comment about Obama taking their money, I’m going to say “yeah, he came in last week and requested to withdraw money from your account and I let him because he’s the president.”
The Comeback →
nhlbruins: BOSTON, MA - It had never happened before in the NHL. The Bruins are the first team in the league’s 96-year history to win a Game Seven after trailing by three goals in the third period. “It was an unbelievable feeling,” said B’s forward Brad Marchand in the locker room, after the Bruins had rallied back from a three-goal deficit against the Toronto Maple Leafs at TD Garden on...
graceebooks: men at large feel like they are being robbed of something when an attractive woman with a 90% chance of developing breast cancer gets a double mastectomy what better illustration of the male sense of sexual entitlement do you need
For the last three decades many Americans have puzzled over a system that gives...– Carrie Rickey (via fireworkselectricbright) “You have to question a cinematic culture which preaches artistic expression, and yet would support a decision that is clearly a product of a patriarchy-dominant society, which tries to control how women are depicted on screen. The MPAA is okay...
It's time to face up to the problem of sexual... →
I’m beginning to feel sorry for whites. I have many white friends and I know most of them are wholly opposed to sexual abuse. But they must be worried that their whole community is getting a bad name. I can imagine that, every day, with each unfolding case, they must be hiding their face behind their hands, pleading: “Please, God, don’t let it be a white person this time.”
Customers of ours are going to have a baby next month and they were considering different names. He said if it’s a girl, they were thinking of my name, spelled the same way. “This is our daughter, we named her after our favorite / the best bank teller.” I hope it’s a girl.
"musical ear syndrome"
Pretty sure it’s because I’m going deaf.
peat11717: hockey wives making eyes at the Bruins vs Maple Leafs I can’t stop watching their faces. Elisha Cuthbert is engaged to Phaneuf, who Totally Blew It. NVM, they are rolling their eyes at a guy who said something awful, probably about Phaneuf, who blew it.
Broke my brain
Every once in a while I’ll hear really faint music, no songs that I know, that’s completely playing in my head. It sounds far away, and the harder I try to listen and make out what it is, the less I hear it. I thought I had a tab open that was playing music, but my laptop volume was all the way down. It was some intense 8-bit boss fight music that lasted a couple minutes. One time it...
Working open to close in a building with no air conditioning makes me grumpy and also I smell.
THIS IS SO SAD
My little brother got into outer space and stuff so my step-mom bought him a place mat with all the planets on it. When I first saw it, I was upset, because it was newer and so Pluto wasn’t labeled. I was about to say something when I noticed something… Pluto is there. The artist remembered Pluto. Guys… The artist drew Pluto crying.
I have a place for you to shove your sense of...
Dear people of this town: The bank parking lot is the bank’s parking lot. Not the town’s parking lot. Feel free to park in the lot all you want after business hours. Park in the fire lane at your own risk: if the bank is on fire, the fire department may damage your vehicle. Please do not hold car wash fundraisers in our parking lot without our permission. We’d probably be cool...
On Sunday I went for a walk, but then I ate pie
I received a pedometer for joining the wellness program at work. Yesterday I was 1800 steps away from still being considered sedentary. *throws pedometer in the dumpster*
faking liking video games to get the catch of a...